Embracing My Mental Health : PoeticDaze (Daè)
How do you view your mental health?
That’s a funny question. Only because if you would’ve asked me 6 months ago, eye would have told you it’s the most crippling thing about me. It’s what breaks me, and something I’m actually afraid of. Now, my mental health is just that — MINE. Eye am NOT my mental health, and my mental health isn’t me. It’s mental. That’s all. Eye can change it, reverse, balance the chemical imbalances, but it has to be MY choice. Again, I’m not living with depression, suicide ideation, anxiety, and self harming... it’s all living with me & eye do kick it out when it’s overstayed it’s welcome.
What serves as your therapy?
Breathing is my first step. Eye stay quiet & think. Eye try my best to read all my spiritual reads, take a hot shower, use positive affirmations & believe it or not, telling other people good things. Loving on my friends and family can only do so much, but it makes me appreciate my life more, and stress the negative less. Writing and coloring is done when eye feel unsafe within my own body.
How do you balance your emotions, behaviour, attitudes?
Eye don’t. Because truthfully, there isn’t a balance between them. They all come differently, and get handled differently. My emotions don’t always come with a behavior or attitude, and my behaviors mean eye am no longer feeling emotions. With my emotions, eye try to remember that they’re mine, and ONLY mine, so eye never want to project them onto my loved ones. My attitudes can be severe and come with self harming, so eye try to stay quiet and think peaceful. Eye try to work through everything before it leads into self harming, explosions, or anything that may cause me to lose anyone or anything special to me.
Are there any mental health stigmas you’ve supported and stood by?
Yes. For a long time, eye just assumed eye was crazy. That’s what everyone called it. “Are you crazy? Life isn’t that bad.” But it was, for me. For a long time, eye ignored it because everyone else did. It was scary, lonely, and most times, the saddest thing eye had to endure. But in the black community, there is no such thing as mental health issues, and it wasn’t until eye turned 17/18 that eye realized that was the furthest from the truth. Another thing, is that when you’re depressed you’re never happy, or don’t have the right to be. People didn’t believe that eye suffered from depression because eye was always laughing, making people laugh, doing fun things. They didn’t know that when eye went home, eye cried myself to sleep.
What have you learned about mental health that you did not know?
The people that seem the happiest, the one that’s the ‘life of the party’ or always helping, is usually the saddest. That’s not always the case, but it’s true. So many people that eye assumed were “okay” have come to me and expressed themselves, and I’m always amazed. That’s truly why you can’t judge anyone. You never know what they’re going through. Being pretty and popular can’t save you from your own mind ...
Do you believe that mental health issues are throughout your family? Perhaps overlooked?
If we’re being honest, eye see things throughout my family that are caused on their own. Most people can’t help being depressed, but I’ve watched family members put themselves in depressing situations — the things they can avoid, leave, walk away from, or just simply prevent. Selfish as it sounds, for a long time, eye was overlooked & the black sheep. Sometimes, eye feel eye still am.
On days that can be challenging, how do you nurture yourself?
Eye talk to people that understand me, love and care for me & my well being & that don’t judge me. That’s like 2 people, 3 at most, but not many people have actually made me feel comfortable enough to talk to them about what eye go through. As eye said in the previous question, eye take time for myself to understand where my feelings are stemming from & what may have provoked a challenging time.
How are you helping spread the word on mental health awareness?
Whenever eye talk about mental health, and the awareness of it, eye only talk about me, my story, and what I’ve been through & then people just come forward & ask for help or to vent. Eye spread it through self awareness. It would be hypocritical of me to talk with people about mental health, and then never speak from my perspective. It doesn’t help. Eye don’t go into depth, but it’s know that sometimes, eye can be a little unstable. Lol. But, eye also spread the word through laughter, letting people know that it’s okay to have good days, it doesn’t make you less or more depressed.