Break Out Myself Bad

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My words are how I express myself and how I silently put on a piece of paper - I’m screaming for you to feel where I coming from. I break down; I have moments where I isolate myself. Would you accept it all? What about my past? If I step out on purpose would you think that I’m crazy? 

Since it’s said that black women are limited the amount of space granted to be themselves; celebrate themselves. Why is it that we’re told to always keep our guards up and be careful because no one cares for our creativity (things that are not the norm). I’m all for being vulnerable- not just showing the parts when it’s shiny pretty and fun but moments I reveal what most don’t see, what’s hidden. 

Going back to my blog post “Comfort Zone” – I had to deprogram after being so used to some “unhealthy garbage”.  Allow yourself to undress completely and not being afraid of how deep the scars may appear to be, what they look like; you are the only person who pours peroxide over your wound, deal with the healing. 

The worse that you may be thinking about being vulnerable and revealing your authentic selves: great possibility that we will be misunderstood, labeled, or worst of all, rejected. The fear of rejection can be so powerful that some wear it like armor.

LET’S COME AT THE WORLD WITH FULL FORCE 

I don’t want to continue to bottle my emotions inside but be present to absorb everyone else and what they have to add to my plate. I have to start by accepting all of me and not feeling ashamed of what is known as life experiences.You’ve got to love everything, if you want to be vulnerable by choice.  I’m still finding out pieces of me that make me feel like a “free and new” me. And I’m sure there are still pieces that I have not found. But as I’m living in the now I can’t not let anyone squeeze my juiciness. 

I’m living in an era where many are not taking on being vulnerable because they are more accustomed to being popular over authentic. Being vulnerable taught me how to shine my light brighter amongst the dim. Vulnerability has taught me that not everyone is deserving of my juiciness just because they want a taste. Vulnerability has taught me patience— not being quick to show and tell, letting my creativity unravel the unknown, unfamiliar and embrace the uncomfortable. 

The same pieces I found uncomfortable, opened up my world of creativity. When I found ease, I was able to find confidence in what made me happy and shared my aspect of things. My confidence led me to have faith over fear. In church Sunday, Lady T said the book shelve is already clear, it’s already done,

"Don't worry, it's already written". In this upcoming month, I have all the confidence I need to say all bets on me. 

I’m willing to find and invest in HER

I know I can be what I want to be!

Through all the pain, trauma, deaths and broken promises, vulnerability shows:

  • Accept that you’re worthy

  • Stop when resisting 

  • Stop being anything & anyone other than you

  • Stop running from what broke you 

 
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