The Importance of Loving You

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Every season is teaching me new lessons. In these 6 months of 2019; two words that have described this journey COURAGE andTRUST. I consider myself a late bloomer in life; I am now learning what I feel I should have learned a while ago. But the joys of learning keep me on my toes, my notebook filled with notes and using past events, experiences as examples. It’s exciting now just to celebrate the small wins and growth.

I’ve never really thought about putting myself first and loving myself until I hit about 29. That sounds about right if I was to give an estimate! It was a struggle for me to let go, walk away from potential thinking, if need be going cold turkey and even having open communication. I gained self-acceptance and the greatest feeling of loving myself first before giving my ALL next. Yes, I’ve always loved myself, but I LOVE LOVE LOVEmyself so much more in every aspect and self-love is the love that’s litty.

*I feel so refreshed, with unlearning to learn the correct way. Taking responsibility for my part in wrongdoings, mistakes and picking up on some negative behaviors ….I went about many things wrong and wondered why some things were happening the way they were. Unfolding, unraveling and leading to my answer there was lack of self-love, self-control and self-awareness. My courage and trust were as thin as the rubber band I was trying to use to hold my braids in a bun. Sooner than later you feel the pop, and all comes tumbling down!

Courage and trust go hand in hand. I gained courage by trusting my journey; what I went through was going to be lessons, not keep me at a standstill – it was serving to make me a better me. I learned daily mirror talks helped me to realize who I am, I was building my table *Tyler Perry vc. For myself; where I was and where I wanted to go had to align with the work I put in. I also prayed harder, invested in myself and spent time alone. Solitude is/was the best teacher.

Getting into some good knowledge …..

A bit of a cliché moment. There will always be talk about what you are doing, how you seem weird to others and how they feel you should be doing what they want you to do. That you have no control over and that you have no reason to confront. Let em’ think what they want! For the better aspect, choose your battles wisely. A lot of ppl has you MESSED UP (if I could replace that “messed” word lol y’all get my drift)! For that one time you say NO they will forget the thousands of times you have been front and center ready for WAR. I get it, we feel obligated to those we love, we let opinions and words marinate. Sometimes it changes our direction of being in our own lane. How do you feel when this occurs? You feel worthless, you feel what you have did/done doesn’t matter. You start thinking to do what they want you to do, they begin to have an influence on your mind, you wait on their feelings. NAH NOPE NA ! Hunny, stand your ground. Remain in that solitary mindset- me, myself and I over EVERYTHING! You’re about to be empty before your even full of protecting the love that’s being poured.

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Ask yourself:

Who am I?

Am I full?

Did I set boundaries?

How is this affecting me? them?

You have to be willing to say enough is enough. It’ll be there loss because what you bring to the table is much more than the spare of the moment feelings. You must understand who you are, your love for you, who’s the head honcho in charge of your life and where you are placed emotionally, mentally in their life. That’ll do it. Don’t you feel you have to answer a call, text, door. SET BOUNDARIES!Your boundaries should allow you to feel nothing but FREE. Stress free, emotionally free and mentally free. That right there is some of the ingredients to self-love. Feel me? SELF LOVEAND FREEDOM.

It is so important to love yourself FIRST; everything else flows after that BIG component.

To get personal with you guys. Let’s take my relationship with my other half. We know that we can’t give love without loving ourselves. Meeting him I couldn’t give him the love we expressed we would give each other. I was embarrassed for him to see my imperfections, some of the knowledge I lacked and me not in “perfect form” (I laugh at it now because I wonder what that is wasn’t me). The love wasn’t comfortable for me -it was not easy. I was being stubborn, not willing to accept my imperfections, had many other opinions marinating. Time progressed!! Because my love for myself has refreshed, renewed, I let go and was being myself, I have room to love him, unconditionally. I’m not afraid anymore. My imperfections make me who I am. He has been patient, accepted my imperfections when I didn’t’ and I no longer hold back from the person I am.

But let’s not forget I’m still learning ….

I used two important real life experiences in this blog more so to get the point of it all. God made me who I am, and I am to love every part of myself. Have the courage and trust that loving yourself will bring on many blessings, freedom and continuous self-love. No matter what the worlds expectation, what others thinks about me, judges me off or feels defines me I have so much love for myself and the power to never let anyone else EVER define me again. I am where I need to be and with my hard work, God is going to continue to elevate my life.