Why I Started Blogging

Why I started Blogging ……

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No but really I mean how did I get here? How did I start taking blogging to the next level?  I was hesitate to hit publish and to even continue to blog about whatever comes to mind. I was overthinking about what people would think but who cares about what the world thinks of you? Right, I have been amazed and appalled by how words travel, are twisted and how people can conclude who you are and feel they are 100% correct. SO MY VOICE OVER ALL!

What happened Rabbit? At the age of 14, it was my freshman year of high school and I experienced a tragic loss. I delivered a stillborn and many didn’t understand how life impacting and how much I had falling into a dark hole. During this time, I shut down completely; mentally I replayed the words during delivery over and over. I was supposed to be enjoying my 1st year of high school. Life changed within 3 pushes and a scream. I found myself drenching my pillow with tears and growing hatred toward life. I battled with my self-esteem, how my body was taking on changes and my dreams had all come to a complete stop. I loss Rebekah Denise! I didn’t know who I could trust and why my so called friends who had moved on to high school with me was once excited about the life growing inside of me, but now  spreading rumors that I had killed my baby. I saw the world as a cruel place and it seemed a story never ending on why I was without my baby girl. I didn’t know who I could express my emotions to and was so scared that everyone would run and tell their own version. No matter how many cards, attempted phone calls, visitors, my family comfort I couldn’t imagine going on without the life I carried. I wanted a do over to be more educated, but hey we get no do overs in life

In 2014, I lost my grandmother, another tragic loss. But I went about her passing in such a different way. I accepted her no longer being here and pushed myself even more to get started on going after what she blessed and open the door for me to do. Journaling!

16 years forward ……

You couldn’t have told me that I wouldn’t have gotten through such tragic losses. I gained so much strength through journaling. At the time I didn’t seek therapy. I know what it’s like to not go to therapy and curl up not wanting to use the possible outlets around you. Therapy had become my pen to paper. I continuously wrote in my journal, I fell in love with the smell of fresh college ruled sheets and ball point pens (the way to my heart) and I purchased so many notebooks and feed my mind reading. I would lock myself in my room, blast music and write away. It was a part of my journey that I had to get myself through. Through writing I learned so much about myself, practiced self-love and care that I didn’t even know I was doing and fell in love with myself. 
I’ve always blogged since 7 years old, but when I lost my daughter and my grandmother, the late Margaret Ann told me “Rabbit everything needs to be written down, you’ll look back and see how far you have come”. I blogged every single thing and it became a habit. I had noticed that many women had loss children and though not the same they could relate. So I opened up, little by little I blogged about losing my daughter and what was going on around me. The hatred women had amongst one another, reasons why I wasn’t liked throughout my school years, some bullying issues and worked up the courage to speak about my journey and what pushed me. I TOLD MY TRUTH! 

Blogging is perfect for me, as is being a podcaster. I released my Podcast “Rabbits Whole” in the beginning of April. I wanted to take blogging another step higher and really be heard through wherever you can stream from. Blogging has helped heal my wounds and have a positive beautiful mindset towards my journey through life.  

I blog because I wanted to change perspectives. We make mistakes in life but who doesn’t. Mistakes are our learning tool. No one can take the hurdles, adventures, failures, and or success from your journey to becoming a better version of you. I blog because I want to educate others on what I wasn’t educated on and did not pay attention to. I don’t want women to let the stories and words thrown at them stick. TELL THEIR STORY, TELL THEIR TRUTH! I want my blog site to be the outlet to others to relate and look at writing as an outlet. I blog because there are many women who fight a battle that they don’t have to fight alone. I blog because I am an example that you can come from a tragic loss and not remain in a hole but become the WHOLE you and be a mentor to another. I blog because I can be me and be transparent sharing my journey. I blog because this has been my platform that is dedicated to inspire, motivating and empowering.

This blog has made me so emotional to go back to my WHY. I have relived the memories of my tragic loss in a positive way knowing that my daughter and grandmother would be so proud of the women I am today. When you feel like you want to give up or you take time away. Go back to your WHY to keep you going.

 
Rebekah Boykins